Being in a romantic relationship can be complicated. With all the expectations and conditions attached to it, it can be quite draining and exhausting. I have always believed that one of the major reasons why relationships end is because of disappointments. Sometimes lovers keep silent about their expectations to their lover, for what reason, I don't exactly know but some keep silent about their expectations to their loved one to avoid hurting them, to prevent becoming a stressor to their lover, and some to test the extent of love, affection and sacrifice their partner has to offer to the relationship.

The thing is silent expectations leads to silent disappointments. And silent disappointments can stem into a lot of issues. Disappointments can sometimes lead to lost of interest, lost of respect, lost of trust, and in worst cases disappointments can lead to vengeful emotions. The majority root cause of infidelity is yawning disappointment that is why if you want to stay clear from infidelity related issues, you have to drop the silent expectations game and be vocal about it. Just like friends do. Friends tell each other about what they expect from each other, either they can reach what is expected of them or not, it's all right as long as you're just being honest about it.

Being bestfriends can help you to loosen up. Being bestfriends can help you to open up to your lover without qualms and inhibitions. Being bestfriends can give both of you the opportunity to see if you can accomplish what is expected of you or not. Friends become friends because of the unconditional acceptance without so many rules. If you have this in your relationship then there would be fewer pressures and demands and more of compromises and acceptance. Here are some ways to develop friendship in the relationship. Have confidence in your lover and yourself. In being bestfriends you have to trust yourself and the object of your affection that he or she will take you as you are.

If not then you come to a compromise. In being friends and lovers all at the same time you have to be straightforward enough to tell your loved one what are the things that you expect from him or her. This will at least give him or her the chance to voice out his or her capacity if he or she can deal with your expectations. This will avoid further miscommunications and disappointments. In being friends and lovers all at the same time, you have to learn to have fun together and develop a healthy sense of humor. Instead of being serious about the flaws and imperfections of your partner, laugh about it, there are some things that you just need to accept.

Unless of course, it's becoming a huge issue in your relationship. Learn the art of healthy criticism and dealing with conflicts. Being bestfriends and lovers also means having the balance and harmony of supporting and tolerating each other. Support the things that are beneficial to the well being of your partner and relationship while forbidding the things that can eventually harm or destroy. Being bestfriends is all about respect. I believe that if you live on romance alone, your relationship will not last. Couples should learn not just to unconditionally love each other but they should learn to like each other as best of friends.

Because in the end, it's the companionship that matters.

Ruth Purple
©2009

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