No matter what kind of romantic involvement you are in, when it ends, you can't help but to feel a certain thud of pain in your chest. You can't sometimes stop feeling the loneliness and missing the absence of that familiar scent and feeling, that wonderful sensation of his kiss and his touch, his adoring and indulgent look he gives you, his kindness and compassion. Things like this are the ones that make it harder to move on, the stuff that you are so used to having, the bonding, the moments that only the two of you posses and understands, stuff that are already a part of your system.

When loneliness sets in, it magnifies into a lot of things like severe longing and desire for your former lover. Sometimes the desire can be so strong that you tend to forget the main reason why you broke up in the first place. In getting your ex back, it is necessary that you truly understand the reason of your break up. If you are the one who made that fatal mistake and caused your relationship to end, you have to fully comprehend why you did what you did. There must be something missing in your relationship or yourself that made you commit such grave mistake.

Internalizing and reflecting on the reasons why you broke up is a fundamental factor. You have to gauge it according to your self- respect and the tolerance of your morals and values. Being impulsive in getting your ex back can result to unhealthy cycle in your relationship and yourself. You should decipher in getting your ex back if the reason behind it is fear of being alone or genuine love and respect. In getting ex back you should be emotionally and mentally ready. You can't just go back to your former lover without any improvement. To have that positive improvement you have to learn from your mistakes and you have to take some time to really be ready for that.

The least you want is to look desperate and despondent when you face your partner. In getting your ex back you have to recover that bruised self confidence first, you need to have some action plan and a ready script on what to do and what to say. When you are done with that, be ready talk to your former lover, apologize and point out your mistakes and why you did it and how you can avoid it next time and how to make your relationship work. You should point out that you are now more aware of yourself and now you know what matters, and what matters is your relationship.

Avoid arguing and being defensive, admit your mistake and understand your partner's sentiments if you hurt his/her feelings. This is also not the time to play the blaming game. Blaming game will get you no where. But when your former lover blames you, just keep quite. Sometimes things don't turn out well as it should be but be patient. In getting your ex back you should have perseverance. If your partner tells you that he/ she wants a little more time to think about it, give him/ her that. In getting your ex back, the more insistent you are the more you are going to be repelled by your former partner.

In getting your ex back have a proper and clear perspective first then work from there.

Ruth Purple
©2009

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